How Fitness Brought Us Together

I am not an easy person to live with.

Guys, admit it…neither are you.

I have a whole host of unsavory habits that range from lacking man-scaping cleanup skills to leaving my toenail clippings in places they don’t belong.

(Hey, at least I groom myself, right?)

I’m just a dude. A sweaty, smelly dude who produces a shitload of dirty laundry.

And my balls don’t shrink in the slightest way when I tell you that I am ridiculously happy to be engaged to an incredible woman- who loves me unconditionally AND despite the numerous ways that I am a disgusting human being. I’m a lucky guy, and I’m grateful.

Kalie and I are, by most “young adult in America” standards, totally messed up as individuals. We both had every reason to believe that we’d be pin balling in and out of relationships well into our 30’s, eventually settling down, but not ever really feeling “certain” about a whole lot.

I’d been cheated on, gotten burned a few times; I didn’t trust women. She’d had a pretty rough childhood and a few nasty breakups, too. (Oh… and we both drank a bit too much.)

I’m sure you can agree that we sound like any other couple that “used to be” before everything went to shit in a blaze of bitterness and the relationship imploded.

Why are we different? Why’d we survive the first few awkward dates and move in together, only to have our utilities shut off because we couldn’t pay for shit and continue on through some of the shittiest experiences so that we could enjoy a life that’s SERIOUSLY amazing? Of course, I love this girl. I always have. But there’s something else that played an equally huge role in our preservation… Are you ready for this?

Because at the rock bottom, when we both were at our worst… we started working out together.

I’ll explain.

It was her idea. It wasn’t some cosmic solution to all our problems as we knew them…and to be honest I fought her on it every morning when she woke me up to go sweat my ass off in my own living room. The most dreaded 45 minutes of my day. At 5 am.

Grade. A. Bullshit.

45 minutes I would rather be sleeping. 45 minutes I would never get back. 45 minutes of begrudged caloric waste.

And then… the craziest thing happened.

I started to have some FUN with it. We would push each other, challenge each other, and encourage each other, and laugh with each other, too. We ended up working our asses off every morning before sunrise, without fail, and suddenly I started to really look forward to it. I was watching Kalie get stronger and I felt proud, I was seeing my abs again and I felt amazing… it was just a ton of “FUCK YEAH” moments right in a row each day.

We were committed, and our goal was clear and measurable: Workout. Every day. Together.

What I didn’t realize was the bigger picture. We were working together toward the same thing; to be better every day. We were lifting one another up, saying “you got this- keep going!”

That’s some serious healthy-ass relationship shit right there.

I didn’t know how huge those first 2 months really were… how sweating together everyday was creating the glue that was going to hold us together through ANYTHING. It was way bigger than just a quick workout everyday… It’s the massive impact that being YOUR BEST has on the other corners of your life.

If you’ve ever felt worried she feels “stuck” with you, or if, despite all your efforts, life just doesn’t seem to cut you a break and your relationship is always the first to take the blow… I’m telling ya man, there’s nothing but truth in this. Hit me up and you can grill me about it.

When you take care of yourself, you feel powerful. When your girl takes care of herself, she feels confident.

When you both do it together, you’re un-fucking-stoppable.





  1. I am in LOVE with this!!! It never occur to me to think of a shared goal as “relationship glue”. I’m grateful I’ve found someone who speaks the kind of truth that I can understand. A thousand thank yous!


  2. My wife and I have been working out together since DAY 1 when we met. We’ve had some rough times as well (as we all do), but at the end of the day, it’s made our relationship stronger. I am running a couples challenge group for the first time this month. This article is going in there. RIGHT.FUCKING.NOW.


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